No one ever plans to sleep out in the gutter

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 01:21:45 GMT

NEW LJ. DURRRR.

Tue, 15 Mar 2005 01:04:27 GMT

so my parents know i smoke,
and its about time.
i was just about to tell them too.
what funny timing. haha
atleast thats one more thing off my back.

"Fine whatever! Just dont do it in or anywhere near the house!"
"fine, im going for a walk. See yall later!"

hahahaha

Sun, 13 Mar 2005 19:24:12 GMT

HOT HOT HEAT IS PLAYING TONIGHT! WHO WANTS TO TAKE MEEEEE?!?!?!?

edit

im real happy now,
in a realllllllllly good mood.
i love my friends :)

Sun, 13 Mar 2005 03:32:29 GMT

im happy

Sat, 12 Mar 2005 03:39:26 GMT

i have the bestest best friend ever. you should all be jealous as hell :)

suckas!

<3<3<3 tonight is going to be good!

EDIT

so last night i hung out with candace,
it was pretty uneventful
considering im practicaly on house arrest.
whatev.

i want to hang out with KT today.
i never do that enough.
i think i will take a shower then call her!

Fri, 11 Mar 2005 00:20:05 GMT

i dont want to spend another night here, alone.

Sun, 06 Mar 2005 03:32:20 GMT

i went to the serene bean with jessica tonight. the coffee tasted like ass, but i took some pictures.

Fri, 04 Mar 2005 00:23:23 GMT

Good Luck Laura!!!!!
(shes in Charlie Brown)

im sick. UHG.

but im going to the play tomorrow night! anyone wanna do something after?

Wed, 02 Mar 2005 00:47:44 GMT

I always have moments when i realize i am really lucky for all my friends. so im writing them all MiNi Letters, even though half of them dont have xanga's /read this at all.

Moe- I have nothing to say about you but think everything of you. we can be good for eachother, and i have a feeling we have to be form now on, or else we just wont be able to hang out any more, and i seriously think that would devistate me. i love you so much, and i would probably die without you.

DaNer- It's been a LONG time since ive known you. Weve been through soooo many good times together. and i dont think weve ever argued about ANYTHING, accept once maybe. Im so glad you live down the street. It was like a miracle when you moved in. i finally had a best friend who i could see every day/;whenever i wanted to. and its still that way! i love you soooooo muccccch daner!

Captain- Wow, its been a crazzzzzy couple of years. Weve been through so much shit, and alot of it was bad, but so much of it was good and fun. I am so glad youre one of my best friends. i love you very very very much.

Cracka- My partner in crime. You never fail me. Youre one of my best friends, and one of the best friends i could ask for. even though we do have our differences, we can go through anything together and i think wed still make it out okay in the end. Youre one of my stronger friends, and right now [especialy right now] i need that. Thanks for being here for me. I love you [cracka]!

Steff- I miss hanging out with you. We always had so much fun. Youre always looking out for me, and even though sometimes i dont act like i appreciate it, i do. One weekend when ben isnt working ill give him gas money and well get us some burgers and well go to redtop again. that was a really good day. it was so nice to have all of you with me. it made me very peacefully happy. i love you very much darling!

Ben- Youre wonderful. I still cant believe you worried about me SO much that night i ran away. It reallllly made me realize that i can trust you and thatim glad i have you around. I owe you so much for everything youve done + driving me around all the time. [haha, you do this often and for this i am grateful and very willing to pay medium sums of money for.] Youre pretty much like a big brother to me, and good big brothers are hard to come by these days!

Tiff- You are the most loving person EVER. i dont know how anyone could ever hate you EVER. youre so caring and bubbly. i love that about you. you can always make me smile or cheer me up. even for just the second. Ill even accept the fact that you love moulan rouge, a movie which i will forever despise. haha. i love you darling!

Gabbi- We havent really had a chance to hang out much but youre the sweetest girl EVER. i absolutely ADORE you. When everyone gets their shit together, me you and Morgan will do something. and if that never happens me and you will still end up hanging out. I love you doll face!

Bear- We had so much fun together when wed hang out, we really need to start hanging out more. i miss you so much! even though we see eachother every day, it would be better to see you outside of school every once in a while. i miss that day at the mall when we went x-mas shopping. haha "Jiz?! What!?!" hmm. that was funny. love ya doll.

Johnathan- Johnathan youre my favorite white male freshman. I swear! haha, youre so funny and so much fun to be around. even when im in a bad mood you can ALWAYS make me laugh. You are very easy to talk to, and im glad for that. I still cant believe ive known you since you were in 6th grade. You and your long hair. hahaha, you were so adorable! [and you still are!] Thanks for being a good friend.

Jay- You are pretty much a brother to me. youre so fun to be around. i love having german/lunch with ya, and oure little trips to waffle house after school. haha we should definatly hang out more!

Ian- Youre so awesome. These last few months have been rough for BOTH of us. Im here for you. ALWAYS. and you know its true. Im glad you can trust me, and you know i can trust you. You havent proved me wrong yet, i dont ever expect you too. Youre so awesome!

Candy Ass- Youre one of my favorite people ever, yet youre one of the people i see the least. We definatly need to fix that, its a problem. I miss hanging out with you. We should do something very very very very SOON! [and by something i mean get drunk and dance to the faint. haha no im kidding, but that would be fun.... ] Shoo' nigga, you know i love yoouuuu.

Amy- Once again, youreone of my favorite people, yet i heardly ever see you. Basicaly im writing you and candace the same letter. haha. love you gurrrrrl.

Vicki- Youre so sweet, and im so glad you were there for me to talk to when i really needed it, and continue to be, even though you know i get even more stupid by the second. i love you very much, and you know im ALWAYS here to return the favor. i love to listen.

James- Things have been crazy. We've had our ups and downs. I love having class with you SO MUCH. i love talking to you and were going to hang out sometime very very soon. I hate it when you get suspended though, cos then i dont get to see you. I cant wait for me+you=party day. im glad were so close. youre the best EVER. i love you as a friend, and so much more.

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Fri, 25 Feb 2005 00:16:03 GMT

so tomorrow morgan is coming over, and were going to dinner at waho with ashley, and then were all coming back to my house [maybe] and then morgan is spending the night.

and im actually looking forward to it. things are changing once again... maybe this is good? i hope so. i need some good.

Wed, 23 Feb 2005 23:21:58 GMT

i had the best dream two days ago, and i came to school today and found out my dream will be reality. :)

Something that made me laugh today
Me-"Hey, what does your shirt say?"
Girl-"Normal People Scare Me!"
Me-"Oh. Sweet."
Girl-"Yup!"
Me-"If i had a shirt like that, itd say MxC [mall core] Kids are Fucking Stupid"
Girl-"Huh?"
Me-"Hahahahahaha" [point, laughs, walks away]

i love my lunch period.

The bold things are true, the unbolded things are false.

01. I miss somebody right now
02. I don't watch much TV these days
03. I love olives
04. I love sleeping
05. I own lots of books
06. I wear glasses or contacts
07. I love to play video games
08. I've tried marijuana
09. I've watched porn movies
10. I have been in a threesome
11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship (I'd like to think not anyway)
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy
13. I have mostly acne free skin
14. I like and respect Al Sharpton
15. I curse frequently
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year
17. I have a hobby
18. I've been told that I have an applebottom
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me
20. I'm really, really smart [duh, jackie is SOOO smart!]
21. I've never broken someone's bones
22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal
23. I love the rain
24. I'm paranoid at times
25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free
26. I need money right now!
27. I love Sushi
28. I talk really, really fast
29. I have fresh breath in the morning
30. I have long hair
31. I have lost money in Las Vegas
32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister
33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
34. I shave my legs (females) or face (males) on a regular basis
35. I have a twin
36. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past
37. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
38. I like the way that I look sometimes
39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months
40. I know how to cornrow
41. I am usually pessimistic
42. I have a lot of mood swings
43. I think prostitution should be legalized
44. I think Britney Spears is hot
45. I have cheated on a significant other in the past :(
46. I have a hidden talent
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have
48. I think that I'm popular
50. I have kissed someone of the same sex
51. I enjoy talking on the phone
52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants
53. I like to shop
54. I would rather shop than eat
55. I would classify myself as ghetto
56. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders
57. I'm obsessed with livejournal
58. I don't hate anyone. I dislike them.
59. I'm a pretty good/amazing dancer
60. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother (sometimes)
62. I have a cell phone
63. I believe in God
64. I watch MTV on a daily basis
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months
66. I love drama (drama CLUB/CLASS!)
67. I have never been in a real relationship before (not one that means anything to me anymore.)
68. I've rejected someone before
69. I currently have a crush on someone
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life
71. I want to have children in the future
72. I have changed a diaper before
73. I've called the cops on a friend before
74. I bite my nails
75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club
76. I'm not allergic to anything
77. I have a lot to learn (Don't we all?)
78. I have dated (let's not call it dating, though) someone at least 5 years older or younger
79. I plan on seeing the new movie "Closer" featuring Julia Roberts
80. I am shy around the opposite sex sometimes.
81. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message
82. I have at least 5 away messages saved
83. I have tried alcohol before
84. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past
85. I own the "South Park" movie
86. I have avoided assignments at work to update my journal (how about class?)
87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum
88. I enjoy some country music
89. I would die for my best friend
90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can
92. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist
93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career
94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all
95. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story"
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I love it
99. I have hurt my self intentionally before
100. I am tired at this moment

wow....i really dont like that list. it makes me feel awful...but whatev. idongiveafuck. [if you knew how i was saying it youd know why i typed it like that.]

Wed, 23 Feb 2005 01:09:14 GMT

god i LOVE my 2nd period class.

& motorcycles. :)

but i HATE homework and school, accept for my lit class cos Ms. Wilkins LOVES me [even though i didnt get 1984 untill just like 20 minutes ago] and shes my favorite teacher EVER. only not really, but i do like her. shes a good teacher.

& ive decided Jesse reallllllllllly is one crazy evil dictator. hmm.

Mon, 21 Feb 2005 19:39:55 GMT

Once said, always said.
I will hold the past over your head.
I'll speak my mind whenever i feel slighted.
I am hellbent on extracting all of my revenge.
Take heart, sweetheart, or I will take it from you.

Fri, 18 Feb 2005 22:57:37 GMT

Drama was funny today. "God, just take a fucking prozac or something!" hahahaha

piccccccccctures.

KT drew that for me. i love her very much.

scott turned into a middle aged woman during 2nd period. but his gender changed back now, its OKAY everyone.

& the best picture of andrew youll ever see! haha

Fri, 18 Feb 2005 03:35:08 GMT

so i dyed my hair again... i got pissed. took a walk. ended up at hollywood video, then publix. got the dye... came home and just did it.

and im reading Stargirl again. I love this book, i love her character. i wish i could be more like her.

i miss hanging out with Ben and Steff.

i wish i were 18 so i could move out.

i wish my parents would let me leave the house, and when they did i wish they wouldnt constantly call me and check on me to make sure i dont die or run away or something. staying cooped up in here isnt going to help any situation at all. and now were just fighting more then ever, so fuck it. i give up.

& i wish i understood german or geometry. both would be nice, but even one would do.

Wed, 16 Feb 2005 23:05:08 GMT

sooo its been an alright day.

Paige made me a cake, and i took it to the cafateria in the morning got like 7 or 8 forks and told people to eat. and they did. i didnt feel like carrying it around all day. Tiff and Em got me balloons. Paige got me these kickass sunglasses and this cool journal/picture thing. Dana and Brooke made me really cool cards, and KT drew me this way hott totally badass picture of conor oberst which i will take a pic of and post later.

i came home, and well what do you know. bad mood again. shocker.

Mon, 14 Feb 2005 05:47:36 GMT

i havent done anything all weekend. i just want to go to school, but i cant. [long story. dont wanna explain]

so ive been watching 16 candles over and over again cos its been on tv.. and ive come to the conclusion that Michael Schoeffling is my dream guy. fo serious.

the one on the right. [duh]

....nuff said.

Fri, 11 Feb 2005 19:33:56 GMT

so...my birthday is in... 5 days now?

All eyes on the calendar
another year I claim of total indifference
To hear the days pile up
With decisions to be made
I'm sure all of them were wrong
Into this song, I send myself
And with these drinks
I plan to collapse and forget
This wasted year
These wasted years
Devoted friends, they disappear
And, I'm sorry about the phone call
And needing you
Some decisions you don't make
I guess it's just like breathing
And not wanting to
There are some things that you can't fake
Yeah, there are some things that you can't fake
I guess that it's typical
To cling to memories you'll never get back again
And to sort through old photographs
Of a summer long ago
Or a friend that you used to know
And there below his frozen face
you wrote the name
And that ancient date, that ancient date
And you can't believe he is really gone
When all that's left is a fucking song
I'm sorry about the phone call
And waking you
I know that it's late
But thank you for talking
Cause I needed to
Yeah, Some things just can't wait
Yeah, some things just can't wait
Yeah, some things just can't wait
Yeah, some things just can't wait

im not planning on celebrating.
the one thing i want is for everyone to just forget about it.
that...and i want my two best friends to be here by my side.
and neither of them will be.

Tue, 08 Feb 2005 21:06:36 GMT

[01]
Reply with your name and I will write something about you.

[02]
I will then tell what song(s) remind me of you.

[03]
Next, I will tell you who you remind me of. Celebrity,animated, or otherwise.

[04]
Last, I will try to name a single word that best describes you.

Tue, 08 Feb 2005 02:57:51 GMT

what the hell?

i have no clue whats going on anymore.

Mon, 07 Feb 2005 03:40:45 GMT

so energetic, so happy, so alive, i feel like i could fly. ive been smiling over nothing all night, id just get these sudden bursts of energy and want to smile and scream and giggle, so for once i let myself go, and i did all these things. i love feeling this way, and i wish i always could, and i wish everyone around me could, so then i could just dance around with them all the time, and even though we all have our problems, i wish we could just put them aside, and say "hey, you know theyre not that huge a deal, and i dont see why i shouldnt still be happy" that would be nice, but it doesnt happen. but for now, im going to pretend like it does and go dance like mad crazy untill my lungs and my legs give out on me.


The sun is up
I’m so happy I could scream!
And there's nowhere else in the world I’d rather be
Than here with you it's perfect
It's all I ever wanted
I almost can't believe that it's for real
(So pinch me quick)

I really don't think it gets any better than this
Vanilla smile and a gorgeous strawberry kiss!
Birds sing, we swing
Clouds drift by and everything is like a dream
It's everything I wished

Never guessed it got this good
Wondered if it ever would
Really didn't think it could
Do it again?
I know we should!!!

The sun is up
I’m so fizzy I could burst!
You wet through and me headfirst
Into this is perfect
It's all I ever wanted
Ow! It feels so big it almost hurts!

Never guessed it got this good
Wondered if it ever would
Really didn't think it could
Do it some more?
I know we should!!!

Say it will always be like this
The two of us together
It will always be like this
Forever and ever and ever...

Never guessed it got this good
Wondered if it ever would
Really didn't think it could
Do it all the time?
I know that we should!!!

Sun, 06 Feb 2005 06:29:20 GMT

so today/tonight was a lot of fun.

too bad i dont have the lung capacity to play kickball.
and i cut my finger open.

but i got to hang out with Me-Lissa!
ANNNNNND emily jay and johnathan!
it was a night.

I have to get up at like 11 tomorrow to clean.
ohhhhhhhhhhh god. haha

things arent right. nothings going the way it needs to be.

I LOVE YOU, and hope things get better. for your own sanity, for my sanity, for both our sakes. i would die without you.

Sat, 05 Feb 2005 16:44:13 GMT

went to babysitting last night,
got puked on,
came home to change,
and got to battle of the bands just in time to see Amplimeyer.

but i didnt get paid or anything,
so im still broke.
got no plans today untill 8
where i am going to play kickball with Me-Lissa for her birthday!
Woooohoooo!
but im BROKE.

but im real proud of my brother.
they got first place last night.
and they played AMAZINGLY.
specialy the ryan adams part :)

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 22:00:48 GMT

When the President Talks to God:
Connor Oberst

when the president talks to god
are the conversations brief or long?
does he ask to rape our womens' rights
or to send poor farm kids off to die?
will the president reccomend an oil hike
when the president talks to god

when the president talks to god
are the words he chooses hard or soft?
does he resolute all down the line?
is every issue black or white?
does what god say ever change his mind
when the president talks to god

when the president talks to god
does he fake that drawl or merely nod?
agree which convicts should be killed?
where the prison's built and filled?
which voter fraud must be concealed
when the president talks to god?

when the president talks to god
I wonder which one plays the better cop
we should find some jobs. the ghetto's broke
no, they're lazy, George, I say we don't
just give 'em more liquor stores and dirty coke
that's what god reccomends

when the president talks to god
do they drink near beer and go play golf
when they pick which country should we invade
and which Muslim souls still can be saved?
yeah I guess god just calls a spade a spade
when the president talks to god

when the president talks to god
does he ever think that maybe he's not?
that that voice is just inside his head
when he kneels down in the presidential bed
does he ever smell his own bullshit
when the president talks to god?
I doubt it

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 02:58:50 GMT

im sitting here laughin at something i just realized...and well i wish i could say it but i cant.

and if these fucking black people dont stop calling my phone in the middle of the night im gonna fucking shoot um all. i hate um. haha. its not even that they wake me up cos DUH im already awake, but its just annoying. they keep calling and asking for SHENEQUA! yes... SHENIQUA. the sterotypical black girls name right? well im not Shenanay or whatev, and im not black, so leave me the FUCK alone. haha

so, good things come from Bright Eyes concerts. Conor Oberst is my god, i dont care what anyone says, i love his music and his lyrics and everything about it. last night was the best, i was so happy/excited! i wish he would have NEVER stopped playing, i could NEVER get sick of his songs, or his voice even. i could stay there and listen to him play for the rest of my life. and Tilly and the Wall. Those girls are my HEROS. i wish i could sing well, cos then i would totally start up a band like that. i LOVE them and they have SUCH prettttty voices.

so ive been in a shitty mood all week + last week + the week before that, with a couple of crazy up moods, and well i just...and real happy right now. earlier johnathan arnold soundboarded me, and that totally cheered me up and now im just WIRED but i need sleep SO bad, so im going to go do that whole sleep thing.

gooooooooooodnight!

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE! and then some <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 :)

MilkmnLfty: SMARTASS
sacrificeasunset: i AM a smartass.
sacrificeasunset: my ass is VERY VERY smart my dear.